First Steps

The First Step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

Despite the knowledge that there are a few who love me just as I am, I also know that I am not one of them. I know there are many who believe dieting and restrictive eating patterns are the worst things on earth and indeed it is true that negative views on body image can be very damaging. I hope I can accept and love people for what they are, fat, thin, short, tall, blonde, black, dyed and all, but whilst I love curves and would not want to be stick thin (there's not really a danger of that!), I am not happy the way I am. I am unfit and unhealthy, obese and uncomfortable.

I once had a colleague who described me, behind my back, as "She of the permanent diet, yet Evans wardrobe" and whilst it still hurts that she was mean enough to laugh with others at my expense, what hurts even more is that it was, and still is, true.

I haven't always been overweight. I can't claim to have been a chubby baby or a kid with puppy fat or an overweight teen, so it is at least one thing I can't blame my parents for. Whilst I really don't want to blame an individual, (other than myself), I'm afraid it did start with my first pregnancy. Until I conceived I was well within my healthy BMI range, but as soon as morning sickness hit, the only thing that seemed to settle my stomach was continually nibbling, mainly ginger biscuits. Unfortunately, I had morning sickness, morning, day and evening until 32 weeks the first time and until 38 weeks the second time, so there was an awful lot of nibbling going on. I have never been since, as low a weight as I was before then.

I know I comfort eat when I am stressed and low and in the past two years I have been at some of my lowest times ever, as you will see if you look at my main Blog over at Stepping Out in Faith. Having tried most diets out there, except the Cabbage Soup diet, I have enough problems in that direction without adding the effects of that to the mix aswell, I know I still have to keep trying if I am to improve my health and wellbeing. To that end today is yet again Day 1, and I'm praying for better results than I've had in the past.

Day 1

Breakfast       3 rashers of Bacon and 2 poached eggs

Lunch            Turkey Salad,

Dinner         Tuna and Stir fry vegetables

Snacks        Celery & Carrots

Drinks       4 mugs of green tea

Wish me Luck.

Arwedd xx